The #Fail Of 2016!

So just a week ago (week a go) I wrote about the upcoming  Memphis First Black Restaurant Week. I even left tips on how we, the customers, could help make this successful. Well I guess I just assumed the restaurant would do everything in their powers to make it successful too. Well in the case of downtown’s ONIX as of 3/7/16 at 1pm I was extremely wrong. 

I convinced my coworker to come with me and we walk in and have a seat. I never like places that have you seat yourself because you risk being missed. We sit down and immediately start observing others. No one has their food, no one looks happy! Uh oh. We may have fucked up girl. Trying to stay optimistic we just start talking. 10 minutes later the first server finally comes to clean the table off. Another 10 minutes and the second server comes by to introduce herself and then left. No drink orders. She finally comes back after a few death stares and admits to forgetting we were her table. She gets our drink and food orders, but miserably failed to remember it. When she comes back we have our first appetizers which were decent. Things are looking up. Even though my coworker still doesn’t have Coke, that she had to get since they were out of Sprite.  

Within 5 minutes we were let down again with our entrees. This kind of food and service makes me wonder how ONIX is still opened. Are people really eating this shit? The entrees come out and mine was Chicken Alfredo with “toast”. I feel silly for thinking they were actually going to have garlic toast. It was white toast ya’ll. Really? My coworkers entire meal was wrong. Poor thing.  

What really put the nasty ass cherry on top of the melted ass sundae was when the server tried to solely blame the cook. This isn’t how things work. You, the server, walked the wrong meal over and if we hadn’t said anything she would have walked off. My coworker tried to eat it but the rice wasn’t cooked completely. Finally, the “correct” sides come out and it still wasn’t right. She finally received the correct sides and the black beans clearly came from a can into the microwave. Tragic day. Mashed potatoes were laughable. I’ve made better mashed potatoes from a packet at Kroger. 

To end this we asked for our checks and she offered my coworker some more of the appetizers to replace her meal since we had to leave. That was the only thing that went okay. Not to mention according to their lunch menu I only saved $1. I paid $16 for a terrible lunch. That’s not cheap and I love local but it has to be good. 

I knew the fail gods were gonna get me I was just really hoping it wasn’t during Memphis Black Restaurant Week. These type of tragedies shouldn’t happen. If you are going to do it, do it right! 

Will I try another place, maybe. But I am never going back to ONIX ever again. Until next time, Memphis!

Cristina M.


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